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Questioning my sexuality
Wahhhhhh
Karaoke Star



I'm in a technical sense attracted to other women but it grosses me out. I'm disgusted with myself for even entertaining the idea that I might be anything else, other than straight. Not being normal.

I have never been in a relationship before. I have never felt the regular emotions, whether sexual or romantic, a woman should feel for a man. At least I don't think I have. Although every bone in my body is against it, I have secret desires of being with a woman. Not a woman in particular, more of the idea of being with a girl who felt the same way as I do. Is it perhaps friendship that I'm craving?

I have never even kissed anyone before (which isn't very common at my age). I never related to the girls in high-school who'd gossip about the "cute boys" in class. I have always been the outcast. But I don't necessarily look like a lesbian either, I'm sure people think it's weird that I never showed interest in guys but nobody has ever called me out for being in the closet either? At least not to my face.

(I used google translate so it's probably wrongly translated.)
Technisch gesehen fühle ich mich zu anderen Frauen hingezogen, aber es widert mich an. Ich bin angewidert von mir selbst, dass ich überhaupt auf die Idee komme, dass ich etwas anderes als hetero sein könnte. Nicht normal sein.  Ich war noch nie in einer Beziehung. Ich habe nie die normalen Gefühle gefühlt, ob sexuell oder romantisch, die eine Frau für einen Mann empfinden sollte. Zumindest glaube ich nicht, dass ich das habe. Obwohl jeder Knochen in meinem Körper dagegen ist, habe ich geheime Wünsche, mit einer Frau zusammen zu sein. Keine bestimmte Frau, eher die Idee, mit einem Mädchen zusammen zu sein, das genauso fühlte wie ich. Ist es vielleicht Freundschaft, nach der ich mich sehne?  Ich habe noch nie zuvor jemanden geküsst (was in meinem Alter nicht sehr üblich ist). Ich hatte nie eine Beziehung zu den Mädchen in der Highschool, die über die „süßen Jungs“ in der Klasse klatschten. Ich war schon immer der Ausgestoßene. Aber ich sehe auch nicht unbedingt wie eine Lesbe aus, ich bin mir sicher, dass die Leute es komisch finden, dass ich nie Interesse an Jungs gezeigt habe, aber mich hat auch noch nie jemand dafür gerügt, dass ich im Schrank bin? Zumindest nicht in mein Gesicht.
Wahhhhhh
Karaoke Star



I'm not attracted to every woman, of course. It's more like I will talk to or see an attractive girl that makes me wonder "is this how guys feel when they are interested in a girl?" Except I'm also female.
Anonym
Queen of Queens



My english is so bad but hello <3
Wahhhhhh
Karaoke Star



Lightstone Schrieb:
My english is so bad but hello <3
Hi <3 No worries, my german is bad
Leebby
Internationaler Star



you shouldnt really fight against the idea od being gay or anything 
you should lern to accept it 
i as a gay male have struggled with that myself 
ive come to terms with it when i was about 15 
it was quite hard but i had frinds who supported me !

and there is nor right or wrong/normal or abnormal 
sexuality is a wide spectrum !
Shingo
Weltberühmt



You sound quite young. If you're still in school it would be hard to find acceptance among others. In puberty it's completely normal not wanting to stand out. As you grow older though it won't matter anymore, don't worry. 
You don't have to define your sexuality if you don't want to. And I know a few girls who didn't have a relationship until age 23 and above and aren't labeled as lesbians, that's just your fear speaking. 
Important would be accepting yourself, no matter if you are into girls or boys or both or other. If you don't accept yourself it won't make your future lover happy and above all else it won't make you happy. 
Being with the person you like shouldn't make you sad. There are lots of different people out there, why not be one of them?
Wahhhhhh
Karaoke Star



leebby Schrieb:
you shouldnt really fight against the idea od being gay or anything 
you should lern to accept it 
i as a gay male have struggled with that myself 
ive come to terms with it when i was about 15 
it was quite hard but i had frinds who supported me !

and there is nor right or wrong/normal or abnormal 
sexuality is a wide spectrum !
If I were to accept that part of myself, that would make me spiral into having an existential crisis. I'm conservative by nature. Like I said, it feels wrong to even question myself like this, I can't imagine what it would be like to accept my sexuality being anything other than "normal".

I don't know any lbtg people. That's why it's hard for me to talk about it. Imagine growing up, being taught your entire life that 1+1 = 2. Suddenly, you're expected to accept that 1+1 actually makes 3. Everything you once thought you knew suddenly changes. I'm sure you know what I'm talking since you said you came to terms with being gay when you were a teen.

Thanks for the comment!
Wahhhhhh
Karaoke Star



Shingo Schrieb:
You sound quite young. If you're still in school it would be hard to find acceptance among others. In puberty it's completely normal not wanting to stand out. As you grow older though it won't matter anymore, don't worry. 
You don't have to define your sexuality if you don't want to. And I know a few girls who didn't have a relationship until age 23 and above and aren't labeled as lesbians, that's just your fear speaking. 
Important would be accepting yourself, no matter if you are into girls or boys or both or other. If you don't accept yourself it won't make your future lover happy and above all else it won't make you happy. 
Being with the person you like shouldn't make you sad. There are lots of different people out there, why not be one of them?
To clarify, I was referring to WHEN I was in high-school. I'm an adult now!

Thanks for your comment. <3 I don't necessarily care about labels, it has more to do with figuring myself out. I never seriously questioned my sexuality because whenever i did and when I felt.. off? I just figured I was going through a phase. But the older I get, the more I start to worry. What would be my parents reactions if I would ever dare to tell them I was dating a woman, crushing their dreams of being grandparents? Of course there's more to it than that but I just feel... stuck, for a lack for a better term.
TintenBlut
Weltberühmt



What exactly do you think a lesbian looks like pls I need help finding them
Wahhhhhh
Karaoke Star



TintenBlut Schrieb:
What exactly do you think a lesbian looks like pls I need help finding them
Haha!

I mean, I'm pretty feminine. I wear skirts and dresses and wear my long hair down. I have never been asked if I was into women before like somebody with a more masculine-looking appearance most likely have.
TintenBlut
Weltberühmt



wahhhhhh Schrieb:
Shingo Schrieb:
You sound quite young. If you're still in school it would be hard to find acceptance among others. In puberty it's completely normal not wanting to stand out. As you grow older though it won't matter anymore, don't worry. 
You don't have to define your sexuality if you don't want to. And I know a few girls who didn't have a relationship until age 23 and above and aren't labeled as lesbians, that's just your fear speaking. 
Important would be accepting yourself, no matter if you are into girls or boys or both or other. If you don't accept yourself it won't make your future lover happy and above all else it won't make you happy. 
Being with the person you like shouldn't make you sad. There are lots of different people out there, why not be one of them?
To clarify, I was referring to WHEN I was in high-school. I'm an adult now!

Thanks for your comment. <3 I don't necessarily care about labels, it has more to do with figuring myself out. I never seriously questioned my sexuality because whenever i did and when I felt.. off? I just figured I was going through a phase. But the older I get, the more I start to worry. What would be my parents reactions if I would ever dare to tell them I was dating a woman, crushing their dreams of being grandparents? Of course there's more to it than that but I just feel... stuck, for a lack for a better term.
Just send them this





(And if you want to have kids you could anyway so.... also you're not responsible for fulfilling your parents vision of you, you have your own life ok) 
Anonym
Lebende Legende



TintenBlut Schrieb:
What exactly do you think a lesbian looks like pls I need help finding them
www.google.com/search?q=how+do+lesbians+look+like&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjQ8_ek5532AhX9if0HH...
TintenBlut
Weltberühmt



Vogelfrei Schrieb:
TintenBlut Schrieb:
What exactly do you think a lesbian looks like pls I need help finding them
www.google.com/search?q=how+do+lesbians+look+like&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjQ8_ek5532AhX9if0HH...
Thanks! 
Wahhhhhh
Karaoke Star



TintenBlut Schrieb:
wahhhhhh Schrieb:
Shingo Schrieb:
You sound quite young. If you're still in school it would be hard to find acceptance among others. In puberty it's completely normal not wanting to stand out. As you grow older though it won't matter anymore, don't worry. 
You don't have to define your sexuality if you don't want to. And I know a few girls who didn't have a relationship until age 23 and above and aren't labeled as lesbians, that's just your fear speaking. 
Important would be accepting yourself, no matter if you are into girls or boys or both or other. If you don't accept yourself it won't make your future lover happy and above all else it won't make you happy. 
Being with the person you like shouldn't make you sad. There are lots of different people out there, why not be one of them?
To clarify, I was referring to WHEN I was in high-school. I'm an adult now!

Thanks for your comment. <3 I don't necessarily care about labels, it has more to do with figuring myself out. I never seriously questioned my sexuality because whenever i did and when I felt.. off? I just figured I was going through a phase. But the older I get, the more I start to worry. What would be my parents reactions if I would ever dare to tell them I was dating a woman, crushing their dreams of being grandparents? Of course there's more to it than that but I just feel... stuck, for a lack for a better term.
Just send them this





(And if you want to have kids you could anyway so.... also you're not responsible for fulfilling your parents vision of you, you have your own life ok)
No, I could never adopt. But I appreciate your politeness! I know it's not my responsibility but I would feel terribly guilty considering I'm here thanks to them, you know?

Not that I'm even thinking about kids yet. I would need to find a husband first.
Palelilac
Weltberühmt



i think you need to find out WHY it grosses you out
because society made you think that?


Anonym
Lebende Legende



wahhhhhh Schrieb:
TintenBlut Schrieb:
wahhhhhh Schrieb:
To clarify, I was referring to WHEN I was in high-school. I'm an adult now!

Thanks for your comment. <3 I don't necessarily care about labels, it has more to do with figuring myself out. I never seriously questioned my sexuality because whenever i did and when I felt.. off? I just figured I was going through a phase. But the older I get, the more I start to worry. What would be my parents reactions if I would ever dare to tell them I was dating a woman, crushing their dreams of being grandparents? Of course there's more to it than that but I just feel... stuck, for a lack for a better term.
Just send them this





(And if you want to have kids you could anyway so.... also you're not responsible for fulfilling your parents vision of you, you have your own life ok)
No, I could never adopt. But I appreciate your politeness! I know it's not my responsibility but I would feel terribly guilty considering I'm here thanks to them, you know?

Not that I'm even thinking about kids yet. I would need to find a husband first.
Not just adoption is an option, even if you have a wife, there would be a possibility to get a biological child. Lesbians before you.also had that wish and found a way.

Try to make yourself free from that responsibility towards your parents. There a lots of ways to show them you're thankful for them giving birth to you, among the things we could possibly owe our parents,  grandchildren are the last thing to owe, I mean you could also be infertile 
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