Englisch?! - Forum - Virtual Popstar

Nebelwolke
Youtube Star

Nebelwolke Schrieb:
Ja, schon wieder ich und ja, immernoch Todesgestresst.

Bin jz zumindest mit dem Essay fertig.
Also wenn jm Englisch kann (und euch lw ist) kann er ja mal drüber schauen... müsst natürlich net. aber ja.

Essay

Whatwould you do, if you had to flee from your homeland, only to find
yourself being turned down by the country, you put all your hopes in?
Everything that kept you from giving up, everything that helped you
overcome those terrific experiences of the past months, suddenly
crushed within a few words. Imagine that for a minute, before asking
yourself the next question.
Shouldwe introduce a law only allowing a certain amount of refugees to
migrate to Germany?

Firstly,the most common reason why many people complain about refugees: jobs.
“They are stealing our jobs!”, is something you get to hear the
most regarding this subject. But at the same time, isn’t the
sinking pension due to lower birthrate an even more mentioned issue?
Using common sense, what I get from this is that rather than
“stealing” our jobs the refugees are filling the gaps in the job
industry.

Secondly,rejecting refugees will not keep them from trying to enter our
country. Many will draw on smugglers and the numbers of illegal
immigrants.

Anotherpoint is, that many refugees flee due to war or persecution which
means that, if being rejected, they have nowhere to go. Maybe their
home has been destroyed or worse. These people have no future and
rejecting them would go against any moral responsibility.

Inconclusion I would like to say that instead of an annual limit of
immigrants maybe a proper background-check on each refugee would be a
better solution in order to decide wether they are safe to go back or
have to stay in our country. Or perhaps we should try to equally
distribute them to all countrys that have agreed to the EU contract,
obligating them to take care of migrants.

ja das wars. hab mich echt angestrengt!

TheChosenOne
Straßenmusiker

TheChosenOne Schrieb:
Essay

What would you do, if you had to flee from your homeland, only to find
yourself being turned down by the country you put all your hopes in?
Everything that kept you from giving up, everything that helped you
overcome those terrifying (terrific ist positiv!!!!) experiences of the past few months, suddenly
crushed by a few words. Imagine that for a minute, before asking
yourself the next question.
Should we introduce a law only allowing a certain amount of refugees to
migrate to Germany?

Firstly,the most common reason why many people complain about refugees: jobs.
“They are stealing our jobs!”, is something you get to hear the
most regarding this subject. But at the same time, isn’t the
sinking pension due to lower birthrate an even more mentioned issue?

ok sry hatte dann keine lust mehr aber bis hierhin sieht gut aus bis auf terrific!!

Nebelwolke
Youtube Star

Nebelwolke Schrieb:

TheChosenOne Schrieb:
Essay

What would you do, if you had to flee from your homeland, only to find
yourself being turned down by the country you put all your hopes in?
Everything that kept you from giving up, everything that helped you
overcome those terrifying (terrific ist positiv!!!!) experiences of the past few months, suddenly
crushed by a few words. Imagine that for a minute, before asking
yourself the next question.
Should we introduce a law only allowing a certain amount of refugees to
migrate to Germany?

Firstly,the most common reason why many people complain about refugees: jobs.
“They are stealing our jobs!”, is something you get to hear the
most regarding this subject. But at the same time, isn’t the
sinking pension due to lower birthrate an even more mentioned issue?

ok sry hatte dann keine lust mehr aber bis hierhin sieht gut aus bis auf terrific!!

ah fuck bin ich dumm!! danke!!!

Account gelöscht

Schrieb:
eig. braucht es ja immer so 1. statement, 2. erklärung 3. beispiel

und beim 2. kann ich das nicht so erkennen so

Anonym
Internationaler Star

hasenpfoetchen Schrieb:
What would you do if you had to flee from your homeland, only to find
yourself being turned down by the country you put all your hopes in?
Everything that kept you from giving up, everything that helped you
overcome those terrific experiences of the past months, suddenly
crushed within a few words. Imagine that for a minute before asking
yourself the next question.
Should we introduce a law only allowing a certain amount of refugees to
migrate to Germany?

Firstly, the most common reason why many people complain about refugees: jobs.
“They are stealing our jobs!” is something you get to hear the
most regarding this subject. But at the same time isn’t the
sinking pension due to lower birthrate an even more mentioned issue?
Using common sense, what I get from this is that rather than
“stealing” our jobs the refugees are filling the gaps in the job
industry.

Secondly, rejecting refugees will not keep them from trying to enter our
country. Many will draw on smugglers and the numbers of illegal
immigrants.

Another point is that many refugees flee due to war or persecution which
means that, if being rejected, they have nowhere to go. Maybe their
home has been destroyed or worse. These people have no future and
rejecting them would go against any moral responsibility.

In conclusion I would like to say that instead of an annual limit of
immigrants maybe a proper background-check on each refugee would be a
better solution in order to decide wether they are safe to go back or
have to stay in our country. Or perhaps we should try to equally
distribute them to all countrys that have agreed to the EU contract,
obligating them to take care of migrants.

sonst supi aber musste kommafehler korrigieren XDDD
wenn du denkst, dass im englisch da 1 komma hinkommt, kommt da meistens keins hin

Account gelöscht

Schrieb:

hasenpfoetchen Schrieb:
What would you do if you had to flee from your homeland, only to find
yourself being turned down by the country you put all your hopes in?
Everything that kept you from giving up, everything that helped you
overcome those terrific experiences of the past months, suddenly
crushed within a few words. Imagine that for a minute before asking
yourself the next question.
Should we introduce a law only allowing a certain amount of refugees to
migrate to Germany?

Firstly, the most common reason why many people complain about refugees: jobs.
“They are stealing our jobs!” is something you get to hear the
most regarding this subject. But at the same time isn’t the
sinking pension due to lower birthrate an even more mentioned issue?
Using common sense, what I get from this is that rather than
“stealing” our jobs the refugees are filling the gaps in the job
industry.

Secondly, rejecting refugees will not keep them from trying to enter our
country. Many will draw on smugglers and the numbers of illegal
immigrants.

Another point is that many refugees flee due to war or persecution which
means that, if being rejected, they have nowhere to go. Maybe their
home has been destroyed or worse. These people have no future and
rejecting them would go against any moral responsibility.

In conclusion I would like to say that instead of an annual limit of
immigrants maybe a proper background-check on each refugee would be a
better solution in order to decide wether they are safe to go back or
have to stay in our country. Or perhaps we should try to equally
distribute them to all countrys that have agreed to the EU contract,
obligating them to take care of migrants.

sonst supi aber musste kommafehler korrigieren XDDD
wenn du denkst, dass im englisch da 1 komma hinkommt, kommt da meistens keins hin

Dat Regel. ID

TheDarkPhoenix
Weltberühmt

TheDarkPhoenix Schrieb:
First statt firstly

Account gelöscht

Schrieb:
Firstly,the most common reason why many people complain about refugees: jobs.
“They are stealing our jobs!”, is something you get to hear the
most regarding this subject.

Würd lieber so schreiben "They are stealing our jobs" - that is something you get to hear the most regarding refugees.

Einfach so plötzlicher 1. Satz, und nicht so langweilig "firstly" verstehst. so direkt auf den punkt halt

TheChosenOne
Straßenmusiker

TheChosenOne Schrieb:

hasenpfoetchen Schrieb:

sonst supi aber musste kommafehler korrigieren XDDD
wenn du denkst, dass im englisch da 1 komma hinkommt, kommt da meistens keins hin

isso xDDDDDD mache auch voll gerne so voll viele kommas im englischen aber denk mir auch immer so "is locker falsch" weil die benutzen einfach keine rip

Account gelöscht

Schrieb:

TheChosenOne Schrieb:

hasenpfoetchen Schrieb:

sonst supi aber musste kommafehler korrigieren XDDD
wenn du denkst, dass im englisch da 1 komma hinkommt, kommt da meistens keins hin

isso xDDDDDD mache auch voll gerne so voll viele kommas im englischen aber denk mir auch immer so "is locker falsch" weil die benutzen einfach keine rip @hasenpfoetchen

bist du vivi

Nebelwolke
Youtube Star

Nebelwolke Schrieb:

Optmst Schrieb:
Firstly,the most common reason why many people complain about refugees: jobs.
“They are stealing our jobs!”, is something you get to hear the
most regarding this subject.

Würd lieber so schreiben "They are stealing our jobs" - that is something you get to hear the most regarding refugees.

Einfach so plötzlicher 1. Satz, und nicht so langweilig "firstly" verstehst. so direkt auf den punkt halt

Stimmt das ist gut, thx

Phyx
Youtube Star

Phyx Schrieb:
schön formulierter text, inhaltlich finde ich das thema ein bisschen oberflächlich abgespeist und stimme einigem nicht zu, aber soll eben nur ein kurzer schulaufsatz sein

"Using common sense, what I get from this is that rather than
“stealing” our jobs the refugees are filling the gaps in the job
industry."

im englischen benutzt man statt verschachteltem Satzbau eher kurze einfache satzstrukturen.
würde nach using common sense eher einen doppelpunkt machen und anschließend den ganzen "what I get from this is that " teil weglassen...ist zu deutsch ^^

-> Rather than stealing our jobs aren't refugees more likely to fill the gaps in the job industry?

"Many will draw on smugglers and the numbers of illegal
immigrants."

fehlt hier nicht ein verb oder hab ich den satz falsch verstanden?!
würde sonst "will increase" hinten ranhängen

"Another point is that many refugees flee due to war or persecution which
means that, if being rejected, they have nowhere to go. "

wieder meiner meinung nach zu deutsch vom satzbau her. ist grundsätzlich nicht falsch aber würde das in zwei sätze trennen.

another point is that many refugees flee due to war or persecution. So if being rejected, they have nowhere to go."

"background-check on each refugee"

würde of statt on nehmen

"in order to decide wether they are safe to go back or
have to stay in our country"

und glaube das "safe" passt hier nicht.....also sieht irgendwie seltsam aus, sagt man in diesem zusammenhang im englisch denke eher nicht

und würde nicht "have to stay" nehmen, das klingt so als würden sie es müssen, aber sie wollen es ja

-> [...] in order to decide whether they should be sent back or can stay in our country.

"Or perhaps we should try to equally
distribute them to all countrys that have agreed to the EU contract,
obligating them to take care of migrants."

würde nicht mit "or" anfangen und klingt er wie etwas, das man sagen als schreiben würde in dieser form

würde den anfang so formulieren

"another option would be to equally distribute [...]"

Phyx
Youtube Star

Phyx Schrieb:
ach ja und immigrate (einwandern) to Germany, migrate (from a country) bedeutet auswandern

Phyx
Youtube Star

Phyx Schrieb:

Nebelwolke Schrieb:

Optmst Schrieb:
Firstly,the most common reason why many people complain about refugees: jobs.
“They are stealing our jobs!”, is something you get to hear the
most regarding this subject.

Würd lieber so schreiben "They are stealing our jobs" - that is something you get to hear the most regarding refugees.

Einfach so plötzlicher 1. Satz, und nicht so langweilig "firstly" verstehst. so direkt auf den punkt halt

Stimmt das ist gut, thx

fand deine version persönlich besser
kannst das firstly ja weglassen aber ansonsten finde ich sind das schöne formulierungen

Nebelwolke
Youtube Star

Nebelwolke Schrieb:

Phyx Schrieb:
schön formulierter text, inhaltlich finde ich das thema ein bisschen oberflächlich abgespeist und stimme einigem nicht zu, aber soll eben nur ein kurzer schulaufsatz sein

"Using common sense, what I get from this is that rather than
“stealing” our jobs the refugees are filling the gaps in the job
industry."

im englischen benutzt man statt verschachteltem Satzbau eher kurze einfache satzstrukturen.
würde nach using common sense eher einen doppelpunkt machen und anschließend den ganzen "what I get from this is that " teil weglassen...ist zu deutsch ^^

-> Rather than stealing our jobs aren't refugees more likely to fill the gaps in the job industry?

"Many will draw on smugglers and the numbers of illegal
immigrants."

fehlt hier nicht ein verb oder hab ich den satz falsch verstanden?!
würde sonst "will increase" hinten ranhängen

"Another point is that many refugees flee due to war or persecution which
means that, if being rejected, they have nowhere to go. "

wieder meiner meinung nach zu deutsch vom satzbau her. ist grundsätzlich nicht falsch aber würde das in zwei sätze trennen.

another point is that many refugees flee due to war or persecution. So if being rejected, they have nowhere to go."

"background-check on each refugee"

würde of statt on nehmen

"in order to decide wether they are safe to go back or
have to stay in our country"

und glaube das "safe" passt hier nicht.....also sieht irgendwie seltsam aus, sagt man in diesem zusammenhang im englisch denke eher nicht

und würde nicht "have to stay" nehmen, das klingt so als würden sie es müssen, aber sie wollen es ja

-> [...] in order to decide whether they should be sent back or can stay in our country.

"Or perhaps we should try to equally
distribute them to all countrys that have agreed to the EU contract,
obligating them to take care of migrants."

würde nicht mit "or" anfangen und klingt er wie etwas, das man sagen als schreiben würde in dieser form

würde den anfang so formulieren

"another option would be to equally distribute [...]"

uff hast echt mit allem recht danke! und ja bei dem 2. hatte ich auch eigentlich ein will increase dranhängen das aber aus irgendeinem dummen grund nicht mitkopiert wurde. aber danke!

Frejafreja
Youtube Star

frejafreja Schrieb:
ok komme aus dänemark und kann dir vielleicht eine andere sprachperspektiv geben (und bin natürlich keine englischexpertin, aber werd einfach durchlesen und schreiben, was mir einfällt)
"everything that helped you
overcome those terrific experiences of the past months"
vielleicht eine geschmackssache, aber würde nicht "of" schreiben (also wenn du genitiv benutzt): "everything that helped you overcome the past months' horrific (/terrible?) experiences"

"“They are stealing our jobs!”, is something you get to hear the
most regarding this subject. "
hmmm vielleicht sowas wie "... is a frequently used claim/argument in this debate / regarding this subject"

"Using common sense, what I get from this is that rather than ... "
statt "what I get from this" eventuell "Using common sense, this means, that .... " or "Putting two and two together, this means . .. . "

"Many will draw on smugglers and the numbers of illegal
immigrants."
verstehe es nicht, aber "the number of smuggles and illegal immigrants will increase" ?

"maybe a proper background-check on each refugee would be a
better solution"
"maybe running a background check on each refugee ... " / "maybe checking the background of each refugee" (fehlt ein verb)

und countries statt countrys

es ist übrugens sehr gut geschrieben!